| I think one of the things that has made me successful | | | | Despite how it seems, your confusion is not a million |
| in life is I'm willing to do things that are not flattering. I | | | | miles deep. Give yourself time. When you quiet down |
| have been willing to not have it "all together," and to still | | | | and face yourself, you will sort this out. The Big You, |
| believe I stood on a path that promised more security | | | | the creative, sacred, shape-shifter will whisper |
| than any other road in the world. I left a fancy legal | | | | something in your ear and you may feel holy and alive, |
| career and waited tables, yes, touched food, so I could | | | | even while an old life is dying. It is possible to stand in a |
| explore my life and my writing. I counted my dimes and | | | | pile of wreckage and know an "embarrassment of |
| quarters. I lived in a tiny hat-sized apartment. I lived a | | | | riches," instead of just embarrassment. |
| life that did not look grand. But I had the humility, | | | | It's up to you how you choose to see your experience. |
| somewhere inside me, to know that I was making big | | | | Only you know why you're doing what you're doing. It's |
| moves with tiny steps. | | | | the motivation that gives the action (or inaction) its |
| I remember when I first changed my career, I was | | | | magnitude or debasement. In the process of building |
| terrified about THE FUTURE. I couldn't see where I | | | | my speaking career, I have spoken for free at |
| was going and part of that, was because I had my | | | | different organizations. Others told me to "respect |
| head wedged in the fridge, looking for solace and | | | | myself," and not give away my work. But I was |
| clarity. But an inner voice told me at the time, "If you | | | | respecting myself. I was building my skills, confidence, |
| stick with the courage to do this, you will be an expert | | | | connections, and visibility. Humility allowed me to put |
| for others in years to come." At the time I thought, | | | | myself in positions that didn't flatter me, though they did |
| yeah right, who needs an expert in freaking out? But | | | | honor me; they helped me shine from the inside out. |
| today I do speak to thousands, and fans have told me | | | | This willingness enabled me to build a growing and |
| repeatedly that my book This Time I Dance! Creating | | | | thriving national organization. |
| the Work You Love is the Bible for anybody in | | | | Humility is taking child's pose, the resting pose, in the |
| transition. It turns out, I do know how to freak out, but I | | | | practice of yoga. It isn't an indignity. It's a necessity if |
| also know how to keep going--and how to claim | | | | you really want to grow. If you don't take small, organic |
| grace. | | | | steps, you can hurt yourself and set yourself back a |
| You know, these many years later, I do have | | | | thousand years. Taking a pose that isn't flashy, doesn't |
| something to say. It's this. It's all worth it. It's safe. If you | | | | mean you're weak. It means you're patient and |
| stay true to yourself, you will find your way. The way | | | | resolved. It means you respect the journey and |
| may look like the end of all you know, or a back alley | | | | yourself, and you trust you will arrive when it's your |
| filled with litter and stink that couldn't possibly lead to | | | | time to arrive. |
| the solid ground and garden that calls to your soul. But | | | | The other day I saw my new champion of humility. I |
| don't be fooled by appearances. Take your steps with | | | | saw a large, very overweight woman beginning to run |
| your heart and not your eyes. This is what it means to | | | | on a trail in the park by herself. I felt tears fill my eyes, |
| be humble. It means you're willing to stay true to your | | | | the same kind of tears you get when you see a ballet |
| spirit, to stand in a mansion, even when others see you | | | | or an Olympic athlete tear through the finish line. I was |
| as crawling on your knees. It means you're willing to | | | | moved by her quiet bravery, her courage and |
| take small steps, steps that may seem nameless and | | | | commitment to herself. She was as breathtaking as |
| unremarkable to others, but steps it may have taken | | | | the yellow roses taking their place in the sun. I wanted |
| you an entire lifetime to dare. There is no size or | | | | to hug her and thank her on behalf of all of humanity. |
| shape in matters of spirit. Big and small are | | | | This was a human being exposing herself to new life, |
| measurements from a world of sadness. | | | | even while in pain, straining and shaking, shimmering in |
| Ours is a culture that does not encourage emotional | | | | vulnerability-and power. |
| honesty. If someone speaks a truthful feeling, it's like | | | | When you watch a baby take a first step, you know |
| spilling grape juice on a white linen tablecloth. | | | | that dancing, hiking, and running will follow. The world is |
| Everybody wants to dab at it and clean it up as soon | | | | in that wobble and fall. This is what I want for you. I |
| as possible, disturbed by witnessing imperfection. | | | | want you to encourage yourself to stay with the |
| Humility is staying true to yourself, admitting your | | | | process, stay in the unknown, take steps that no one |
| feelings, and knowing that you are part of a larger | | | | else will applaud, and encourage and empower |
| Perfection and even though you're feeling shaky, | | | | yourself. I want you to commit to the Grandness of |
| you're right on track with all that is important. | | | | Your Soul Expressed and to take every choppy, |
| It takes so much courage to stand in the middle of the | | | | half-baked step to get there. I want you to know the |
| storm of actual life. Most people run for cover. Most | | | | nobility of floundering. This isn't a walk on the red |
| will make impulsive choices, just to have a title, a | | | | carpet. But it is a ride on a flying carpet. I want you to |
| definition, a proper role, and an answer at a cocktail | | | | soar inside yourself because you know how frightened |
| party. But you can't force love, strength, or progress. If | | | | you are, and yet you're still choosing the truth inside |
| you run for cover, the storm will never pass. It will live | | | | you, even on days when you can't remember why. |
| in the chambers of your heart and the lining of your | | | | Dare to give yourself that wobble. Dare to give |
| stomach. You can't grow strong by hiding from your | | | | yourself the world. |
| fear. | | | | Copyright 2009 Tama J Kieves. All rights reserved. |