| Apparently, there may be no Christmas this year as | | | | the elves and their temper tantrums outside their |
| OSHA has levied steep fines on Santa Claus | | | | facility," and they had no choice but to replace them |
| Corporation. It seems as if there are serious charges, | | | | with Eskimos and Polar Bears. Luckily, since Global |
| fines, and even criminal negligence at issue in several | | | | Warming was cancelled and found out to be a |
| of Santa Corporation's North Pole Factories. What has | | | | fraudulent scheme to wrestle away the power and |
| happened you ask? | | | | wealth from the oil companies, the Polar Bears have |
| Well, it appears that due to the strengthening of the | | | | been having twice as many offspring. |
| Unions during President Barack Obama's stay in office | | | | Therefore, there is an abundance currently in North |
| most of the elves working in the Toy Factories have | | | | Pole Labor Markets, unfortunately, the unions lobbied |
| demanded more money, less work, more benefits and | | | | their Senators to have OSHA come in and fine Santa |
| have staged strikes, work slowdowns, and sit ins. The | | | | Claus Corporation. OSHA inspectors did indeed find |
| company was forced to do a lock-out recently of all | | | | several violations of regulations. The worst one being a |
| the elf workers, and there have been huge | | | | 40-ounce bottle of liquid paper, bought from Costco, |
| demonstrations, picketing, and threatened boycotts of | | | | which did not have an MSDS Sheet on file, and thus, |
| Christmas all together. | | | | violated the "right to know" rules for chemical |
| The Santa Claus Corporation stated recently in the | | | | substances in the work place. |
| news that it was "troubled by the persnicketiness of | | | | |