| Unfortunately, there will be no Christmas this year | | | | the highest unemployment rate in the nation. There are |
| because Santa Claus Inc. is filing for bankruptcy. The | | | | more people unemployed by percentage than in |
| company could not make its loan payments, or cover | | | | Detroit Michigan. The Santa Claus said; |
| its costs this November. The taxes at the North Pole | | | | "I don't understand what Congress was talking about, |
| have skyrocketed to pay the interest on that debt due | | | | we build cars up here at the North Pole also, albeit toy |
| to Socialist-liberal expenditures and runaway debt | | | | cars, but they get a lot better gas mileage than any of |
| spending. The CEO of Santa Claus Inc. noted that the | | | | the cars that the big three automakers produce. The |
| increased taxes on the businesses at the North Pole | | | | new springs we've engineered really make them wind |
| have crushed the community's economic vitality. | | | | up and go like hell without any gasoline nor do you |
| Polar bears and Eskimos alike are waiting in line for the | | | | have to push them like the Fred Flintstone toy cars of |
| government to give them potatoes. The elves will now | | | | the 80s and 90s. Still, Congress refused to discuss |
| be laid-off from the Santa Claus factories after Mr. | | | | providing us with a bailout package." |
| Claus was unable to get stimulus monies because he | | | | Mr. and Mrs. Claus are very upset, and they are too |
| was not "too big to fail" and because Christmas is no | | | | sad to attend the business auction where they will be |
| longer politically correct. Both the House and Senate | | | | auctioning off the famous Santa's Red Sleigh. The |
| had cut the Santa Corporation's addendum to the bill | | | | 150-year-old company will close its doors prior to |
| on the second round of Obama Stimulus. | | | | Christmas delivery this year. Mr. Claus, that's Santa to |
| Most of the elves don't understand because they | | | | you, had one last comment; "the kids who voted for |
| voted for President Obama because he promised | | | | President Obama should have been more careful |
| them that he would fix the economy, provide jobs, and | | | | what they'd wished for. |
| support their union. Unfortunately, the North Pole has | | | | |